Avengers: Endgame and Abortion

Originally published May 27, 2019

Did you all see Avengers: Endgame? Of course you did. Did anyone else think it was kind of fucked up how Black Widow died? She died, basically, to uphold the hetero-patriarchy. When it came down between her, a woman who can’t make babies, and Hawk-Eye, the dud of the Avengers but a man with a wife and family, it was Natasha who had to die. Because women are disposable. Women who can’t (or don’t)  make babies don’t get their own movies. They don’t even get funerals. 

Am I the only one who read the movie this way? 

So here we are in a shit-storm of sexist attacks on abortion rights. All that sits between us and the overturning of Roe V. Wade is a few lost court cases and a Supreme Court dominated by men who would fucking love to see people who are or can be pregnant suffer. These laws are rooted in misogyny, but not everyone who can be pregnant is a woman—trans men and non-binary people can be affected by these laws as well. Anti-abortion laws are not about abortion. They are about controlling people’s bodies. 

I’m so mad that my teeth hurt. 

Pop culture is where I go to eek out joy around the angry and scared. Fuck the Marvel movies—why do I keep giving them my money? Black Widow's story--written by men--fits so neatly into the hetero-patriarchal narrative. But there are other stories. 

When the magnificent PEN15 came out on Hulu this year I lost my shit. I had never felt so seen by a TV show. It follows Maya and Anna, two thirteen-year-old seventh-graders who are played by 31 year-old women (Maya Erskine and Anna Konkle), who also wrote the show. It sounds absurd, and it is. It is also glorious. Set in the year 2000 (truly a different era), the casting allows the show to dive into the embodiment of being a thirteen-year-old girl in ways that wouldn’t work with younger actresses. Erskine and Konkle so believably embody their teen-selves with slouching, fashion choices, and self-conscious bra-adjusting, that you begin to forget that they are not thirteen. 

This is a show where the main characters are obsessed with boys, but it is not about the boys.  This is a show that isn’t afraid to dive into everything, psychologically and bodily, about what it’s like to a thirteen-year-old girl. Puberty, social anxiety, losing the sense of self that came with being a child, how racism plays out among middle-schoolers, discovering masturbation, the transformative power of thongs. This show has fucking everything. 

Meanwhile, and I can’t say this enough, Natasha didn’t even get a funeral. She couldn’t have even gotten a joint-funeral with Tony (I’M A DAD I’M SO IMPORTANT NOW) Stark? Jesus. 

I’m terrified for the people with uteruses who live in the “heartbeat bill” states. (By the way, embryos don’t have heartbeats—they don’t have hearts. Even if they did—they still aren’t a baby, and they still occupy someone’s womb. Someone who has a heart and a heartbeat.) For now, though, abortion remains legal. These bills will be challenged in court, which is exactly what the anti-choice extremists want—so that eventually they can overturn Roe V. Wade. 

If you’re reading this, you know all this. You’ve probably also spent the last few weeks with rage and fear induced tension headaches. This post is not even about abortion—I just can’t stop thinking about it. It’s about stories. It’s about narratives. The “forced birth” zealots and misogynist coalition have been pushing one narrative—about murderous, slutty women. These fucked up stories have power, but so do the stories that humanize people.

There’s a lot more work to do to represent of the plethora of human experiences and identities in story-telling. There’s a lot more work to do just to create access for people to tell their stories. But I've been noticing recently a trend toward telling abortion stories on television. In the past few years I've seen stories about characters getting abortions on Jane The Virgin, Crazy-Ex Girlfriend, Shrill and Sex Education. Each story is different, but each character is treated with humanity. It is a choice that characters make that is important and meaningful, but it does not define them. They make the choice to honor their own lives, their own desires, their own bodies.

Something is working. Roe V. Wade is supported by the majority of Americans. Perhaps I’m struggling for a connection where there is none. But at a time when reproductive rights are under attack and women and pregnant people are vilified, there is a wellspring of entertainment telling different stories. We need more stories, and we need more stories about reproductive issues that don't just feature cisgender women--but it's a start. Something is happening. Maybe it's part of why the anti-choicers are on the attack.

Shows like PEN15 are a part of this as well, because it is a show that speaks from the raw, unfiltered, perspective of a teenage girl. It is not voyeuristic; it is intimate. There is an episode where Erksine's character discovers masturbation. Masturbation—a selfish moment, a moment alone, a moment about her. Konkle and Erskine were brilliant to cast themselves to play their younger selves, because they can embody their pubescent selves. They point the camera right at their bodies and say look at this. This is important. 

So is this a hopeful or a cynical post? Not sure yet. 

Demand better stories than Avengers: Endgame.

Keep an eye on the Supreme Court.

*Recommendations this time: send money to reproductive rights groups if you can; as well as trans rights and advocacy groups. Watch season 2 of Vida which is sexy and amazing, and go see Booksmart!