Don’t We All Sort of Hate The Internet?

Originally published April 28, 2017

Years ago I deleted the Facebook app from my phone because I was sick of the infinite scroll. I felt like there were better things to do while inching closer to death than numbly scrolling through Facebook posts of terrible news, think-pieces and baby pictures. But now when I open my phone I just open Facebook in my web browser. My addiction has found a work-around. It's slower and glitchier and I hate it even more, but a fix is a fix.

Technology is great! Science, progress, innovation, etc., etc., I am all for it. I went to a march last weekend to add my voice to the advocacy of science (can you believe that's necessary?) I am not saying that technology isn't great or that smart phones or the interet aren't a boggling human achievement. What I am saying is that sometimes I feel like I am prisoner of my phone. Sometimes I feel a pit of despair swell in my gut when I read my twitter feed.

What I am saying is, that after much consideration, I have decided that I don't want to be a millenial writer. I don't want to tweet, I don't want to create a brand for myself, and I don't want to argue with mysoginists online. I know this, but I know that if I want to write, I must engage with it, even just a little. I have started this blog as a way to force myself to write.

I should be all about the internet. I am 26, I love communication, TV, and social commentary. I am a raging (militant, angry, unapologetic, crazy*, take your pick) feminist. In high school I was once told by the librarian that "maybe I shouldn't step on so many people's toes," after not getting onto the National Honor Society, which he ran, despite being an A student and meeting all the qualifications. I think he was angry with me for once refusing to take my seltzer water out of the library, since the rule was "water only," and my well-reasoned argument is that seltzer water is water and I was not breaking any rules. I am still annoyed about that comment ten years later. Since I am so good at offending men in real life, it stands to reason that I would want to do it online as well.

But the internet, in general, saps my energy, consumes my time in unproductive ways, makes me want to cry when I read certain comment treads. Fuck it. It's vile. We all know that it's vile, and yet we all keep coming back to it.

So, here I am. This is an experiment. I am under no illusions that this is original, but it may be enjoyable. Stay tuned, void. 

*crazy is a mostly meaningless term used by men to undermine the valid emotional responses of women to the horrors of the patriarchy. Do I feel unhinged when I listen to anything that comes out of Mike Pence's mouth these days? It would be crazy not to.